- Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
- It’s too “a.m.” for me.
- Reality called, so I hung up.
- How do I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
- I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
- Friday, my second favorite F word.
- I had fun once, it was horrible.
- After Tuesdays, even the calendar goes WTF.
- Nothing is lost until your mother can’t find it.
- If you fall, I will be there. Signed: Floor.
- I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
- I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize!
- Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
- I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
- Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
- Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
- I eat cake because it is somebody’s birthday somewhere!
- I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
- There is maybe no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
